ARE THE GIRLS HERE FOR CHRISTMAS?
When you juggle the schedules of a blended family, it often means not everyone is together for the holidays. We’ve touched on the subject of celebrations before, but how do you manage Christmas? Are you flexible and don't mind if everyone isn't together, or does Christmas need to happen a certain way?
When I first became a single mom, I remember a friend asking "What's going to happen on Christmas? Will you get to see your kids?"
I, fortunately, have always seen my kids on Christmas, but that hasn't always been the case for Mike. Sometimes he's had to work, and so we can't have his girls on those days.
Do you have or need to have all the children together on Christmas Day? Do you have some children but not others? Do you go ahead and celebrate with the ones missing, or do you wait until everyone is together? Figuring it all out without upsetting or offending others can be a struggle.
And what about gift-giving? When you blend families, there can often be many children. Holidays can become expensive fast if everyone is expected to give a gift to each other. If biological siblings exchange gifts at the other parents' house, do they need to do the same at your house? These are all questions that come up when you’re trying to figure out how to manage the holidays in a blended family.
In the past, we've juggled the season in many different ways. Sometimes we have four kids on Christmas day, and sometimes we don't. But we have always made a point of celebrating together whenever we get the opportunity. Whether it be boxing day or the day after that, we've made the time.
When Santa was a big thing, he would give the girls one large joint gift, but that hasn't happened in the last couple of years. At that time, we had the girls draw names so that they each bought for one other sibling. I usually rigged this so that step-sisters were buying for step-sisters. This was so they weren't buying for the same person twice (at their mom's/dad's, and here).
This year we gave them a budget and told them to buy for each of their siblings. If they’re smart, they will combine their money so they can get larger ticket items for their siblings but figuring it all out can be half the fun.
That leaves the question of what to do about the parents? My biological children might want to buy me something, but my stepchild may not or vice versa. Do you put pressure on the children to buy their parent or stepparent something?
I know for myself cards have always been a big thing. It doesn't take a lot of money to make someone a card, but knowing that someone put that time and effort into creating something for you sure can mean a lot.
My most memorable gifts have been those handmade by those I love.
No matter how your family is spending the holidays, remember to cherish the time together. We will do the same.
Best Wishes for a wonderful holiday season,
Shannon, The Herdmother
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