BE AN EMOTIONAL EXAMPLE

Emotions are one of the most complex human characteristics. You can cry tears of sadness, laughter, or joy. They play an important role in how we think and behave. Emotions are an integral part of our lives used to communicate our feelings, large and small. They influence our perceptions, relationships, and behavior. Emotions help us to understand other people and allow others to understand what defines us.

Eckhart Tolle said - "Emotion arises at the place where mind and body meet. It is the body’s reaction to your mind – or you might say, a reflection of your mind in the body."

For example, if our mind processes a hostile thought, it, in turn, creates energy inside of us we recognize as anger. These thoughts created in our minds are a normal part of the process. Identifying the emotion produced is also normal. The importance is in understanding how to effectively harness the energy created.

As parents, the way we react to something is twice as important because of the example we're striving to set. I'll share a humorous but not-so-proud moment involving my youngest daughter, Morgan.

Morgan was struggling with getting a shirt on her Barbie. No matter what she did she could not get it to work. After some time, she finally reached her breaking point and slammed the doll to the floor in frustration. While her two-year-old fit of rage was somewhat cute, the outburst that followed wasn't as much.

"(Explicative) sakes!"

My jaw dropped. What did she say?!? And where did she hear that?!? I heard loud and clear what she said, and I shamefully knew exactly where she'd heard it. Her little ears and eyes were always on, watching my every move and hearing my every word. As parents, we have to accept and understand that we aren't always going to be perfect. But a guarded approach to how we conduct ourselves is a good way to think.

Teaching our kids to manage their emotions requires us to learn to manage ourselves first. Emotional management can't be delegated to products and cliché trends. It needs to be mastered from within, and if your daily example is mismanagement, nothing you try is going to get you positive results.

When the girls' Mom and I separated, I quickly understood the importance of being emotionally healthy. It wasn't lost on them that there was some tension. But their mom was still their mom, and I was still their dad. They needed us to be those people even in the stress and struggle of separation.

I can't effectively help my kids learn to deal with mistreatment from others if I can't regulate my emotions. They won't understand resiliency and confidence from a lack of emotional maturity and control. The best example we can ever give our kids is by living what they need to learn. BE the example. Show them the way. From there, you can train concepts that they will understand for their age and ability.

Children easily understand the possibility of situations. When they see that emotional freedom is possible, they see it as conceivable for themselves as well. When they see us become masters in emotional maturity, they become masters of their own.

Being in control of one's self and one's boundaries is a skill that's learned early on. When a parent leads the charge, it's easier for the child to find their way. If you want your kids to live free and master their emotions, live it first and live it well.

Mike, The Herdfather