DISCIPLINE- NOT MY STRONG SUIT

Who’s the disciplinarian in your house? Or do you have a good cop, bad cop situation going on? I wish I could say I‘m good at disciplining the kids. In reality, I’m not.

We have a rule in our house. No devices in your rooms at night. It’s a pretty simple rule, but one that seems quite challenging to follow.

Everyone in our house understands the reasons for this rule. I don’t think anyone should be surrounded by electronics (or Electromagnetic frequency- EMF) while sleeping. It’s the reason no one has a television in their room and why they won’t until they move out.

So what’s the consequence of leaving your device in your room at night? You lose it the next day. In other words, you lose the right to use the thing you abused.

On school nights, it’s pretty easy to make sure this rule is being followed, but on weekends and holidays, the kids go to bed later than the parents.

Earlier this week, one of our daughters lost her phone. Upon relinquishing her device for the day, she made a simple statement.

”Letting me still watch TV when I lose my device teaches me nothing.” She was right.

We had been allowing the kids to still watch TV when they lost their phones for the day. What was this teaching them? Nothing - as clearly stated by our child.

Matching the punishment to the offense can be hard to figure out. I will be the first to admit I can be too lenient when it comes to punishment or consequences. I’m the one who originally allowed the TV watching the day after breaking the rules about no phones in your room.

No devices should mean no electronics. And that’s the point our daughter was making the other day. She saw the hypocrisy in the punishment. We told her we didn’t want to appear to be monsters, and that’s the reasoning behind allowing TV.

I don’t want to appear unfair or unjust. Mike is a great rule enforcer and disciplinarian. Not wanting to seem like monsters is all about me, not him. He’s simply backing up my move on this one. But I’m doing a disservice to our kids.

In other situations, I’ve often asked my children what they think the punishment should be when they break the rules. They are harder on themselves than I ever would be. They choose punishments they know will enforce what they’re supposed to be learning.

Yesterday two of our four girls had no electronics for the day since the night before devices had been left in their room. They weren’t allowed TV, and everyone managed.

Perhaps now that the consequence matches the offense, this won’t happen as much anymore.

Are you a good disciplinarian? Do you and your partner play good cop, bad cop? Leave a comment and let us know!

Shannon, The Herdmother