GIFT GIVING AT THIS TIME OF YEAR

Last time I touched on how you juggle schedules, time with kids over the holidays and gift-giving between step-siblings. Today I’m focusing on gifts for parents? In other words, what if my kids want to buy a gift for their dad? Who pays? My kids are a little older now, so they have their own money. Should they pay?

Before meeting Mike, this was hard enough to figure out. When he and I met, I had to figure out how to handle gift-giving to my step-children's mom as well.

At the time, I wasn’t keen on spending our money on gifts for exes, but I could tell it was important for the kids. We all know receiving gifts is lovely, but giving a gift, and watching the person open it with anticipation, can be wondrous. I wanted our kids to feel this joy.

Five years ago, I began a tradition that continues to this day. I have a reminder set on my phone for October 15th- start the Christmas calendars!!!

Every year I create a calendar that we give to the people in our bubble. This year I made three different calendars that we will give to nine different homes.

What does this involve? Beyond finding an opportunity for photo ops, this gift doesn't require much, but the value of receiving this gift has never been lost on me.

Blended families often aren't able to come together for all celebrations. The calendar not only reminds people of important dates but also allows the opportunity for monumental photos to be shared with the extended blended family.

The extended blended family is often not spoken about. When you add in step-siblings and step-parents, this also adds step-grandparents, step aunts, uncles and cousins. The dynamic of the blended family can be never-ending.

We found inviting everyone to every event was too much. We're all busy. We all have busy schedules, and if events are missed, photo collaborations of any kind are a great way to share within a blended family.

Social media can be amazing for keeping you connected, but it's lovely to receive actual photos of those you love. We have a grandparent that isn't on social media. Any photos she's gifted are a blessing. At the end of the day, everyone will figure out what works for their family but what I've learned is that kids want to give their parents something. If it's a photo calendar, great. If it's something else, wonderful. But make sure you ask the kids how they feel.

Tomorrow night I'm taking my girls shopping. They've both expressed an interest in spending their own money on gifts for their parents/stepparents. As time passes, I realise all of these things will change. What we've done in the past is likely to evolve. Having an open mind, and allowing the kids to direct the situation seems to be what works for us.

Best wishes figuring out what works best for your family.

Shannon, The Herdmother