HE SAID/SHE SAID- TAKE 5
She said - We thought we would try something a little different for today’s blog. Yesterday was our 5th wedding anniversary. We thought we would ask each other the same five questions and see how our answers compare. So, let’s dive in.
He said - 5 years. Wow, some days, it feels like we just met and others like we've been together forever. I mean that in the best possible way, of course. By the way, Shannon handles the editing of our blogs, so don't be surprised to see some pretty biased and favoured responses on my part. Just kidding, this is me in my own words. (unless I say it wrong)
She said - Hey, just so you know, I didn't change a thing.
Question 1) How am I doing as a husband/wife in general?
He said - As my partner and my wife, you check off all of my boxes. More importantly, you've checked off boxes I never considered until you came along. Life with you is an adventure. It's never boring. You compliment me as a husband, a father and a man in so many ways. You are exceedingly patient and graciously forgiving. I haven't always been the greatest partner but, you have always allowed me to better myself in all areas. You also have had your moments but are more than deserving of pardon. You've stood with me through all the hills and valleys. You're reliable, steadfast and dedicated. Your quirks, nuances and idiosyncrasies are what keep me on my toes and what I truly appreciate about you because that is you in your truest form. I met a beautiful woman, fell in love with her, built a blended family with her, fell in love with her again and along the way, discovered my best friend. You redefined my expectations of relationships. You were nothing that I wanted and everything that I needed. Simply put - perfect.
She said - You are supportive and my biggest cheerleader. You are thoughtful and patient. You allow me to be a little crazy when I need to be but you ground me. You are a great friend and I have learned through Covid times just how much we don't need as long as we have each other. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner. You have filled in gaps I didn’t know existed without swimming into areas just meant for me.
Question 2) What are your biggest fears about our relationship?
He said - I don't think I have any. I was a much more insecure man when we first met. You were pivotal in my growth realizing my potential. Maybe it's not fear but more self-realization of "I hope we don't grow apart. I hope we always look at each other the way we do now." One day, as we envision it, it will be just you and I. No kids that require guidance and attention. No scheduling between other parents. No extracurricular activities that eat up evenings and weekends. No distractions. Just you and I. We take advantage of every second we can that we can be alone now. I hope we are as eager in the future when we will have much more time to spend with each other one on one.
She said - I'm not sure I have any fears but, I would be afraid if we stopped communicating. In my experience, when you stop talking to each other, things can go downhill fast. I appreciate the marriage meetings we have. Even though we can fall behind on them, but keep talking. Don't ever stop.
Question 3) If you had three wishes for our future, what would they be?
He said - Easy. 1) A lake property in the mountains with a spacious but cozy house and a barn. 2) Regular visits from our daughters and their families (oodles of grandbabies) to help fill our home with additional love and memories. 3) Still blogging, becoming coaches and allowing the story of our journey to be our livelihood and an inspiration to others.
She said - Thinking about answering this question, I thought in terms of soon, in a while, and our more distant future.
For my first wish, I wish to move to an acreage. it's what we both want. I want a huge garden, chickens and, I want to be outside of the city. This dream will become a reality.
My second wish is for our four girls to be strong, successful young women and for them to all move on with their lives happily. Not much after they turn 18! But essentially, I just want us to get through the teen years unscathed.
And lastly, I wish for financial freedom. We have such big ideas and, it would be incredible if we could follow through on them all. If only time and money allowed. If we can retire and focus on our 'big picture plan," that would be amazing.
Question 4) What do I need to know most about you right now?
He said - I love it when you touch me every time that I walk past you, even when I'm grumpy. Don't stop.
She said - Most of the time, I feel like I'm not doing enough. You never make me feel this way but I wish there were 24 more hours in each day so I could accomplish all that I want to.
Question 5) What have you learned to appreciate about me that you did not know when we were first married?
He said - You don't bow to pressure, not at the cost of your integrity, morals, beliefs or values. You stay true to yourself yet respect the opinions of others. You bite your tongue where I think others wouldn't hesitate to speak their mind. But you also know when to speak up and are careful of the words you choose to get your point across. You aren't afraid to challenge me, but you do it with grace. How many times have I had a less than stellar dad moment and you've offered advice as to how our daughters may be feeling as well as understanding where I was coming from? Your empathy and grace astound me.
She said - There's a couple of things that come to mind.
1. You are devoted to being a force and a positive influence on other men. You've grown so much since we met and, watching you find your passion has made me fall in love with you over and over again.
2. Who knew you could cook? I so appreciate all the effort you put in when it comes to making me something special that you aren't going to eat (eg. stuffed mushroom caps). You are so passionate about making whatever it is, the very best I've ever tasted.
We've always believed that communication between partners is one of the most effective and important ways to invest in your marriage. Just as you would invest financially to see your profits and value grow, the same can be said when you invest in your marriage.
We challenge you to ask these questions with your partner and share your answers. Maybe you can even light some candles, throw on some Kenny G, and share your favourite bottle of red.
What's a great question you'd ask your spouse? We'd love to know! Drop us a comment below.
Happy investing!
Mike & Shannon - The Herdfather & Herdmother
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