Hey kids, meet your new sisters.
If you've read Our Story on our home page, then you know Mike and I didn't exactly take things slow. We met and spent all the time we could together. Quickly we realized if what we had was going to work, our kids would have to meet. Our girls were 8, 7, 7, and 5 at the time.
Mike and I had discussed our girls' personalities. Tori and Camryn (the olders) we thought would be a perfect match. And we figured Morgan and Evynne (the littles) would get along. It was Christmas time so, we set a plan to meet in motion.
A Christmas light event was happening. We bumped into each other at a coffee shop while getting our kids some hot chocolate.
"Hey, nice to see you. Oh, you're going to see the lights? So are we.
Why don't we check them out together?
And so we did.
The girls had a blast.
Morgan remembers telling Mike as soon as she saw Evynne that she thought the two of them would be best friends.
The next time the kids got together was shortly after that. We met at my home and headed to the local park for a sleigh ride. Again, they had so much fun together.
Next, we went to a winter ice castle display. Blending our kids this way made being together exciting. Bonds were forming, and we placed no stress on the kids to get along. For us, it worked. What was happening between Mike and I wasn't their focus. It had everything to do with the ages of the children at the time as well as their personalities. We were fortunate it worked out. Today, when the kids are together, it's still the olders and the littles that hang out.
When we first moved in together, Mike moved into my home. At that time, he didn't have his girls as much, and my girls weren't spending nights at their dad's. It was hard for all 4 girls to feel equal in the home. Tori and Morgan acted like they were visiting rather than it be a place they lived.
Mike and I got married and continued to live in that space. Only after moving 3 years ago, to a home that was new to us all, did the kids accept their 'new' family.
Because of our blended schedules, the 4 girls are only together 7-9 nights a month. But Mike and I have kids in the house 23-25 nights a month. Sound confusing? It is. Basically, the kids don't see a ton of each other, so they enjoy the time they're together. Because of the schedules we have, it's more often 2 kids, not four, with Mike and I. The remaining nights Mike's working. Occasionally there's a night with no kids, and Mike isn't working. Those are date nights!
The decision to introduce your love interest to your children is a serious one. And when there are other kids involved, it can be a tricky situation. It's important to allow children to accept their new surroundings; In their own way and in their own time.
We'd love to hear how you introduced step siblings! Leave your story in the comments!
Shannon, The Herdmother
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