I'M SORRY, OR AM I REALLY?

I'm sorry. Two simple words that, for some, are the most difficult words to say. For others, it comes out of their mouths without a thought. I've found myself in the second group most of my life.

I remember playing tag as a kid with my friends. I would tag them and say sorry. They would tease me and said I should have a t-shirt that says I'm sorry, so I don't have to say it all the time. I responded by apologizing for saying sorry.

When our kids are young, we teach them manners. Please, thank you, your welcome, and I'm sorry. One observation I've made, saying I'm sorry, seems to be the front runner for usage.

Saying sorry isn't always about manners. Sure we might think it is, but it's little more than a habit for so many.

Where does that come from? Both of my bio girls are chronic "I'm sorry-ers" too. We spoke about this the other night.

I told them they should never say sorry unless they mean it. And they should never say sorry to apologize for who they are.

Now on the flip side, have you ever known someone who doesn't say sorry. Ever? I've often wondered if one reason I say sorry so much is that I grew up with someone who doesn't say sorry at all. I'm certain this person wouldn't think that, but it's an observation I made years ago, and it's still true today. There have been times I know the person felt apologetic, but even still, the words didn't squeak out of their mouth. This has led me to think a lot about what saying 'sorry' means.

If a person chooses to say or do something, perceivably, they are making the right choice for themselves at that time. Because someone else might take issue with what's said or done, is an apology necessary? Perhaps the person taking offense needs to lighten up.

Don't get me wrong, some circumstances warrant stepping in and ensuring a proper apology is given to the offended, but are we a culture of people who don't say what we mean?

I think it's more a matter of not thinking before speaking. I know if I bump into someone accidentally, I would normally say I'm sorry immediately. Perhaps using different language to get across the same meaning would convey more concern. "Oops, I hope you're ok" suggests a much stronger sense of care and concern for the other person.

If you don't agree with what I have to say, I'm sorry.

Shannon, The Herdmother