JUST THE THREE OF US

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It doesn’t involve presents or a bunny that brings candy or any sense of materialism. It’s the one holiday family and friends come together simply to enjoy each other.

Last weekend, I found myself reflecting on past Thanksgivings and how much my feelings and thoughts have changed through the years.

Thanksgiving 2012 was the first holiday I spent as a single mom. Life was chaotic, and I wasn’t settled into a home of my own. My girls were young, and all I wanted to do was make their world seem normal somehow. I felt like I was wandering. I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere. I thought people would feel sorry for my girls, and I didn’t want that for them. I had to work through those emotions. It wasn't easy to overcome, but with each holiday season that passed, I adjusted to the house feeling just a little off, until things started to feel normal, just the three of us.

When I remarried, holiday celebrations changed again. They became about juggling schedules so we could all spend some time together when possible. This year Mike was working, which meant we didn’t have his kids with us for the holiday. Instead, it was just me and my two. On Saturday, we decided to check out the other corn maze near Edmonton. While the corn maze wasn't what we expected, it was a great opportunity to spend time with my girls. Just the three of us.

Despite it being just the 3 of us, I didn’t have any feelings of embarrassment, or displacement. I didn’t think anyone noticed or even cared that my girls and I were just a threesome. Seriously, who would care?

Funny how I never thought of these things years ago. Instead what I was thinking this year was: “it’s too bad 1/2 our family isn’t with us but we'll get to share our experience with them".

I wonder if I weren't remarried, would I feel so evolved in my emotions around holidays? If I were still a single mom, would I wish things were different? What I think is that we grow into our circumstances. As things around us change, because they always do, we adapt and learn how to manage our new normal.

What I’ve learned since then, is that I’m as grateful now as I was back then for the blessings I’ve had and have had at the moment.

Regardless of your family structure, we’d love to hear what you’re most thankful for.

Shannon, The Herdmother