LET YOUR CHILD BE THE AUTHOR OF THEIR STORY

Have you ever wondered about an author’s journey when writing a book? Sometimes the world they create is so out-of-this-world, you can’t help but wonder where it all stemmed from. Well, that’s where a preface comes in.

A preface is an author’s moment at the beginning of the book to tell you their journey and how it began. You'll find prefaces in academic writing, nonfiction, and fiction works.

Other authors may choose to have an introduction or a summary of the main content. Some may include a forward which is an introduction written by someone other than the author. Some writers choose to write a backstory in the form of a prologue.

As educational as this discovery was for me, it triggered the lightbulb upstairs with an analogy to parenting. As parents, we write those first few pages of the novels that will become our children's lives. And all the above examples can apply. Whereas an author may choose one to lead their work, parents will use them all.

And like an author, you aren’t working with a lot of space, only a couple of pages. And those pages in this context, are the fundamental and crucial first years of development. Therefore, it's important to be as concise as possible when detailing their journey. But it's principal we understand that this is where our contribution stops and their pen begins to take over.

Some children crave and develop independence earlier than others. It's still imperative that as parents we step in when necessary to continue them along the right path. But equally paramount is the need to allow them a little more space, bit by bit, to venture off on their own, even allowing them to fall along the way. We'll always be there to help them up, but the goal is for them to pick themselves back up.

Between our four girls, their desire for personal freedom varies greatly. Tori, our oldest, has become braver in standing up and speaking for herself. She's discovering what it is in her life she needs to reach her full potential. Camryn still values the praise and support of parental influence. She tends to shy away from the big leaps and bounds of self-support. Morgan, while vocal in her quest for sovereignty, needs to be guided in the right direction from time to time so that she stays on a path that will prove honest and rewarding. Evynne, well let's just say that sometimes we're about five minutes too late to respond to her actions.

In each of these examples, room is given and encouraged for them to write the first few chapters of their story. We offer suggestions, influence and experience to help them 'edit' the current segment. But all in all, they are inevitably going to choose what their story will tell. And that narrative will probably evolve a few times along the way.

We're busy as parents, crafting in detail the visions and ideas we have for our kids. We take a lot of pride in our own hopes and dreams for their futures. At some point, their self-support needs to flourish. This is one of the hardest challenges a parent has to admit to. But by carefully choosing the words to write those first few crucial pages, you should be relieved but not surprised by the outcome.

As the result of a particularly favourable environment, children will grow and develop healthily and vigorously. Even if it means some challenging lessons are met along the way.

Happy writing,

Mike - The Herdfather