MARRIAGE 101

Now, before I get into the meat and potatoes of this weekend's blog, I want to point out that yes, I am aware that it is the Christmas season. But Christmas has always been a bit of a struggle for me. I'll dive more into that in a week because yours truly has been gifted the last blog before we wrap up for the holidays. So until then, bah, humbug, here we go.

I'm talking about marriage today, and I'm talking to everybody. I may have touched on some if not all points in the past, but I think it's a good talk to drill into the heart and soul of marriage.

Your partner should be your BEST FRIEND. NO ONE takes precedence over your partner. Not your mom. Not your dad. Not the boys on your beer league team. Not the girls you used to go clubbing with until all hours of the night. Your partner should be and in my opinion, MUST be where you go in every season. The good days. The shitty days. Sun or rain, sickness or health, your partner - your marriage - is HOME.

I've heard so many men talk with disrespect about their wives. The old lady. The battle-axe. The ball and chain. How she's this or how she's that. How she nags and bitches about everything. I don't know why but the more negatively you speak about your wife around the boys seems to translate to being more "manly" for some husbands. This, of course, is nothing more than a delusional ego. And you better get it in check.

Ladies, I'm sorry, but you can be just as bad. Cackling over cocktails and complaining about every single detail that he doesn't get right. Now, don't me wrong. Men need time with the boys, and ladies need a girl's night out. But it seems that everybody knows the issues in someone's relationship EXCEPT the people in the relationship.

There is nothing more sacred and powerful than the union and bond between two partners. No one, regardless of relation or time a person is known, comes above or before your partner. The second you allow anyone or anything in between the two of you is the exact moment you create a crack in your foundation. The instant you take your problems, concerns or frustrations to anyone outside of that union is the moment you diminish that trust and bond. The wolves will always come knocking in times of weakness.

I am a simple but traditional man. I love my family, and I prize my friendships, but my wife comes before all. My ideas and passions, my fears and frustrations land with her above all else. Concerns with our marriage, our bond, don't get voiced at the water cooler or over beers during the game. They go directly to her. My Queen.

A commitment was made when we got married. Never mind the paper and the legality and the blessing of it all. I gave my wife my word that she would be my partner and my best friend. I would give her everything and all of me regardless of energy, magnitude or sentiment.

Every kingdom needs a king, every king needs a queen. She sits alongside me and helps to govern what it is we rule - our family, our marriage, our future - with grace and compassion. She knows my heart when it is soft and when it is enraged. She gets all of me before anyone else gets a piece because she sees and knows all of me.

Folks, your partner is to be your greatest advocate. You and your partner are the builders of the same foundation your home is being built upon. You can either edify and strengthen it or chip away and cause it to crumble. You both will end up out on your asses if the house falls.

Your union is your strength, and its power is far-reaching. Giving someone else the keys to your kingdom shouldn't be scary, and it isn't weakness. It's divine. It's liberating. Fear comes and thrives from the unknown. Your partnership should be well known by both of you. Make your heart known. Make your union sacred. Make your partnership strong enough to withstand the most violent of storms.

Build your foundation.

Build your union.

Build your kingdom.

Mike, the Herdfather