Moving On.

A friend told me she thought I was brave for choosing love and a blended family life. Many of her friends in my age group were opting to stay single. Forget raising someone else's kids or bothering to figure out how to live with another man!

Funny, I never thought the choice was brave. I never thought I would get married a second time. I dated men. They just never made it into the intimate parts of my life. I dated a man for over a year, and the running joke was: "you have kids?" I only saw him when my girls were with their dad. I didn't want anything more than that, and neither did he. The relationship ran its course, and nobody suffered once it ended. I liked having my own space, and I intended for things to stay that way until my girls got older. But as the story goes, I met Mike, and that all changed.

Our courtship was short. We fell in love, got engaged, and then married all within 1 year. We would likely have taken it slower however my father's health wasn't great. I wanted to be sure to have him walk me down the aisle.

With so much going on, I didn't give myself time to understand all the emotions I was feeling. Falling in love, Becoming a new step-mom, Managing my children's feelings about their new step-sisters and their step-dad, and Handling the reactions of our exes to the situation. It was a lot.

Now that I'm on the other side, I'm overwhelmed thinking about it all. This past year I realized I was still holding on to some of the negative emotions from that time. I could feel them sitting just beneath the surface. It dawned on me, I had to write a letter. It was to my stepdaughters' mom. I wasn't sure I would send it, but I did.

I can't believe what that one simple act has done for me. It might sound corny, but my heart feels more open. And I certainly feel more at peace. The letter was written to someone else but really it was for me. And everyone in my family benefits from me having shut this door. Our family is moving forward every day. Stronger and healthier.

Being part of a blended family has taught me so much.

But no matter what, there is no such thing as too much love in a family. Don't limit yourself to the love you share.

Shannon, The Herdmother