THE CALL TO FATHERHOOD

Fatherhood is probably the biggest blessing in my life. I know I've talked about this before and last week Shannon wrote about the indisputable and evident importance that a father figure establishes within the home. 

As fathers and more naturally, as men we strive to uphold the integrity of the family unit. I want to know everything that is happening in the lives of those I care about and am responsible for. I am the protector, the provider and the presider. Nothing gets, or at least shouldn't get past me, the father. May I forever empower them with the knowledge to know how to handle the situations that lay before them.

But as much as we like to think we've established a spirit of common sense and reason within our children, as much as we would like to believe that the day ahead has been secured as such and no surprises await, children have their unique ways of throwing thunderbolts and bombshells into what should be just another routine day.

Our youngest Evynne is famous for this.  Reckless abandon, no apologies, throws caution to the wind, what could possibly go wrong, all in, ride or die..... THAT is our baby girl. Every day she is told to make good choices. Not as an encouragement of success but as a reminder of convenience... OTHER people's convenience. And just when she gets on that last nerve with one of her trademark hijinks she has this incredible way of empowering you with so much worth. This past week is just one such example. 

We've had some rain in the last few days and needless to say, some things have become a tad soppy. Schoolyards for example. Evynne's schoolyard to be exact. In a predictable lapse of reason moment she managed to find the ONE mud puddle in the entire school yard and walk right through it. 

I was having a second attempt at an afternoon nap (the first being interrupted by a courier drop-off) when the phone rang. 'Mouse' showed up on the call display, a nickname that I've always had for Ev. And knowing her Mom was somewhere in the city working with a client I had become the last resort of problem-solving for our problem child.

What has she done now?

"Hello?"

"Hi, Dad. I was outside at recess and I stepped into a mud puddle so I tried to wash off my shoes and now they are wet so Mom said if you were up because you might be napping you could bring me some shoes to wear."

Silence as I process her opening conversation.

"You stepped into a mud puddle?"

"Yes."

"Why did you step into a mud puddle?"

"I didn't see it."

"You didn't see the mud puddle?"

"No. I was walking and the next thing I know I was in the mud."

More silence as I continue to process a situation that though not completely surprising still forces me to question my daughter's ability to survive. If not for the authoritative figures in her life, I'm sure she'd have been captured by wolves by now.

"Dad?!?"

"You didn't see a mud puddle that was right in front of y..... Ok. I will be there shortly with some shoes."

"Thanks Dad, Love yoooouuuu."

Yeah. You better kid. "I love you too."

I arrive at the school with something dry and clean for her to change into. I could hearthe squish of her feet before I could see her in the hall. It's hard to be mad at your child when they come up to you beaming with innocence as if nothing really happened. She knew she goofed. She found it humorous. And she made the best of her situation. And the inconvenience presented to me as a result, was a lot smaller than her need for me to show up as a man and a father. Or in her eyes, "Dad".

The next day I offered to pick my wife's girls up from school so she could stay focused on her work. Her oldest met me at Evynne's school and waited for me as I walked in to sign Evynne out. Name… child's name… class… time signed out… relationship to child if not legal parent... this last one always throws me off. I sign as stepfather, and Evynne and I walk out to the car. She thanks me for picking her up and then melts me as only she can. 

"By the way, you're just Dad. NOT stepfather."

She reaffirms this with her sister when we get in the car, a moment added to the highlight reel of my life.

Yes, I am their stepfather as all accounts go. They have a good Dad who is very purposeful, present, active and supportive in their life - a good man. I've never thought of myself as a replacement, more another person to provide care and support. The more people there are to love a child the more blessed that child will be.

But to Evynne and her sister, by their choice, I am nothing less than Dad. And by my choice, I choose nothing less than that. 

I choose to accept the call to fatherhood.

Mike - The Herdfather