The Father Daughter Dance
Being a dad/stepdad to 4 young women is no easy task. It's fair to say that in our home, I'm heavily outnumbered. Never mind the last man standing - I'm the only man standing. This reality has often left me wondering if I'm doing a good job as a father?
You can receive all the praise and reassurance in the world. You can be told how brave you are for taking on such a challenge. Nothing compares to an acknowledgment of approval from one of your children. One of those moments happened the other day, leading to the inspiration for this blog.
Morgan is my youngest and the second youngest of our four girls. She's an interesting mix of rough around the edges with endless snuggles. She knows it, and she owns it. Proudly. While at work the other night, I received a text from her. There were two parts. The first, a YouTube link for the song "If You Love Her" by Forest Blakk. Followed by this message: "I think this is the song that I wanna dance with you at my wedding :)"
Morgan is twelve.
Now I'd like to think of myself as an emotionally reserved man. When I clicked the link for the song, I was overcome; with pride and joy. Tears welled in my eyes. I've listened to this song on the radio many times with the girls, but I never heard it quite like this.
Carefully listening to the lyrics brought up images of my little girl. Who she was, who she is, and who she one day will be. Realizing the song made her think of me was a reminder that I was doing ok.
I've found it doesn't take much effort to be a hero in your daughters' eyes. Mediocre tango dancing at tuck-ins. Letting them paint your nails and give you complete make-overs. Answering that toy princess phone one hundred times a day when they say: "it's for you." The Father/Daughter dance starts long before the wedding day. It's years in the making.
Morgan and I still have the most challenging years of our dance ahead of us. There will be disappointment when my answer is "no". There will be heartbreak and tears. There will be some really tough decisions. But there will also be laughter and celebrations. There will be heartfelt discussions and hugs. There will be alone time hiking in the mountains finding some new rock to climb. It's all a part of preparing her (and me) for the day where reluctantly, it will be time to let my little girl go.
As men, I firmly believe there's an impulse in us all; a calling to be rugged, resilient, secure, and strong. We're wired to get our hands dirty and tinker. We want to fight for what we believe. Being the father of four daughters helps smooth my edges and tame that beast within. I want to lead them, love them, protect them, and help them grow.
In his book, "Wild at Heart', John Eldridge writes the beautiful quote;
“Deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.”
As my daughter grows up, men will come in and out of her life. She must know the one man who will always be there will be her father. I must be the example by which all other men in her life will be judged. She will know what a real man sees as beauty and how a gentle man looks to rescue.
Lead and love them wisely Brothers, with patience and grace.
Ride or die; I got your six.
Mike, The Herdfather
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