THE ROAD AHEAD
Monday we leave for our family holiday. Last week on date night, Mike and I reflected on our first family holiday six summers ago. We’re going to the same place again this year.
It’s amazing to see how much our girls have grown over that time. Six years ago we had only just begun this journey. The journey of blending our families. Mike and I weren’t yet married, although we were engaged, our relationship was still new.
Heading away from home for a week or more connects you to those you're with. Good or bad. Someone's inevitably going to get on someone else's nerves. But since you're stuck together, you're forced to work it out.
Two summers ago Morgan, Mike's youngest, and I finally started to connect on our summer holiday that year. Until that point, she and I struggled. It was challenging for her dad because he felt torn between loving his partner and loving his child. I’m going to say that’s a low point in our relationship for me. The degree to which I stressed Mike about Morgan during those years.
Morgan has a strong personality. I wouldn’t have it any other way. But so do I. Trying to figure out how to make those personalities work together wasn’t easy. We needed to give each other space to finally come together.
In a large family, there's bound to be relationships that clique, and others that take a little more effort. This becomes apparent when you're forced together. Last year was no exception. Everyone was home, spending more time together than ever. I think for our family it helped us figure out how to wiggle into the spaces. How not to feel like we were on top of each other. Instead, we figured out how to fit all the puzzle pieces together. So we each had our own space.
I think we’ve also grown as a family in terms of understanding what our family needs. We used to throw it all together and hope for the best. Six years ago we all jammed into a minivan with a week's belongings. This year we'll be taking two cars. The girls have grown, and we all appreciate a little more space. The key is to be flexible and consider everyone's needs as we forge together on the road ahead.
Shannon, The Herdmother
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