Where is everyone going to sleep?

When Mike and I met, my living situation had been stable for a few years, but Mike's hadn't. The relationship with the mother of his children had ended six months prior. Both he and his daughters were still adjusting to their new living arrangements when we met. Since Mike and I knew this was 'the real deal' right away, we didn't see the need to delay living together. Within six months of dating, we were living in my home and engaged.

My place had been the perfect home for 3. It was my home post-divorce, and I moved there because it was cozy. I didn't want a big place that would feel empty when my kids weren't home. When Mike and his girls moved in, it became a little crowded. For starters, where was everyone going to sleep?

At that time, Mike's daughters were with us about 35% of the time. Mine, we had 100% of the time then. I stood my ground with Mike and felt my daughters shouldn't have to move or change rooms. Their rooms had been theirs for years. In truth, I wasn't ready to move over yet. All this change was happening so fast. Too fast, it seemed sometimes. I wanted to make sure my girls were ok and well adjusted. This left me feeling like I wasn't doing enough to champion the rights of Mike's girls. It was a difficult situation.

We weren't in a position where we could easily move. We needed to make the best of the situation we were in. My girls did remain in their rooms, and we created rooms for Mike's girls in the basement. I did my best to make space for each of them until we were able to move. It wasn't ideal.

When it came time to move, we had to do so quickly. More space and a larger home was the priority. The number of bedrooms was lower on the list. The girls were younger, and we felt sharing rooms would be doable. And because of how time was now split between homes, done right, the girls would only share rooms 7-8 nights a month.

Mike's oldest and my oldest share a room. And our youngest girls share a room. Sometimes there are two weeks between them seeing each other. When they are together, it's like they're having a sleepover with their friend. For now. The olders are nearly 14. We've reached the point where sharing rooms is no longer ideal. Next year we'll be moving to a new home. No matter what, when it comes time to shop, five bedrooms are top of the list!

The needs of a family change over time, whether your family is blended or not.

Our current home was our first 'family' home. We've made great memories here but we are eager for the next chapter. The last home until the girls all leave the nest.

Shannon, The Herdmother